How it happened

This will be graphic post, if you can not handle the pressure get off now, as it is going to get very emotional. When I was 14, I was in love (as much love that you can have at 14) with a boy 2 years older than me. He started pressuring me for sex right away. I was looking for someone to fill the void of missing my dad. He gave me the attention that I thought I needed. In reality he ruined many years of my life. We started having sex, and I didn't like it. But it was attention. Not the right kind of attention. Attention none the less. He worked up the street from my house. I would ride my bike to his job and he and I would go riding around after the shop closed. The day it happened it was different. He and his friend were working together the night it happened. His friend had been dating my friend for years. His friend was 17, he was 16, I was 14. I went up to his job as I usually did and they closed the shop and then things changed. I was in a situation that I couldn't get out of. The 16 year old had his way with me in a small bathroom, and then he invited his friend in. Against my will, the 16 year old held me down while his friend raped me. I was crying and no one cared. I remember hurting and trying to escape. But there was a metal pole holding the door closed leading to the outside world. I cut myself under my chin during my escape. I was let go at somepoint and they convinced me that no one would believe me as I had been having sex with the 16 year old for a few weeks. It is only from the grace of GOD that I did not get pregnant.  I never told my family I was ashamed, I knew the different from right and wrong and knew I should not be having sex. I had been raised in a GOD fearing home. I still have not told most of my family, and I should as this burden is so heavy on my heart. So much of my life has been ruined due to the rape. I want to move on, I need to move on this happened 28 years ago. I still cry, I still blame myself. It sucks.